(This is the fourth of several daily columns to offer encouragement and hope in the aftermath of Hurricane Helene. Author Tara Simkins developed coping strategies during her son’s treatment for leukemia. Brennan was 7 when he was diagnosed in 2009. Columns contain opinion and all opinions expressed in it belong to the author.)
Over the past few days, I’ve been sharing the 25/5/3 tool with you.
It’s a powerful practice I use to remind myself of the bigger picture of support in my life when the immediate picture feels like more than I can bear. And I know that’s exactly how many of you are feeling right now.
Let’s quickly recap your journey with this tool:
– Step 0: You started with “I’m here. I care. I’m listening.” Your grounding mantra.
– Step 1: You listed 25 things working in your life, finding light even in dark times.
– Step 2: You acknowledged 3-5 things not working, honoring your struggles.
Today, you’re tackling the final step of our 25/5/3 tool. It’s time to take action. But not in the way you’re used to. Not from the ‘survival’ mode you’ve been functioning in.
Step 3 is about choosing one to three things to do differently.
Read more: Find previous columns here. Day 1, Day 2, Day 3
One small change can create ripples of transformation in your life. So give yourself permission to keep it at one thing if that feels best on your nervous system.
Here’s how it works:
1. Look at your lists from Steps 1 and 2.
2. Ask yourself: “What’s one small thing I can do to nurture what’s working or address what isn’t?”
3. Write it down. Be specific. Make it something you can start today.
If you need some inspiration, here are a few ideas I’ve suggested to my members inside Soul Shine Labs recently:
1. Use this 25/5/3 exercise as a blessing every time you sit down for a meal, go to the gas station, or lay your head down at night.
2. Keep something beautiful around you. Maybe a flower or a picture of a sunset. Let it remind you of the beauty that still exists, even in challenging times.
3. Begin to make peace with uncertainty. I used to read and reread an essay by David Whyte about heartbreak and uncertainty. It became my daily meditation.
The key is to choose something that resonates with you. Something that feels doable, even on your hardest days. Even today
Because by focusing on this one change, you’re not just improving that one area. You’re training your brain to look for solutions, to take action, to believe in the possibility of change.
And that’s the true beauty of the 25/5/3 tool.
That’s how it gets you back into that sense that you can take action.
Not from an adrenaline-fueled, flight or fight mode.
But from a reconnection to the truth that while you can’t control everything that happens to you, you get to decide who you want to be and how you show up and respond to life’s circumstances.
So, what’s your one thing?
What small step will you take today towards the life you want, even in the midst of these challenging times?
Whatever you choose, know that I’m cheering you on. You’ve got this..
If you’re feeling stuck, you can always come back to step 0: take a deep breath, put your hand on your heart, and remind yourself: “I’m here. I care. I’m listening.“ Your inner wisdom has the answers. “I’m here. I care. I’m listening” gives your nervous system a chance to reset so you can tune into that deep well of wisdom within.
XOXO, Press on + Shine on!
Tara Simkins is a lawyer turned life coach, facilitator and childhood cancer philanthropist. She left a successful twenty-year legal career to pursue a new calling ~ that of teacher, writer, life coach, and co-founder of the pressonfund.org. Find her at tarasimkins.com
