(This is the first of several daily columns to offer encouragement and hope in the aftermath of Hurricane Helene. Author Tara Simkins developed coping strategies during her son’s treatment for leukemia. Brennan was 7 when he was diagnosed in 2009. Columns contain opinion and all opinions expressed in it belong to the author.)
I know the aftermath of this storm has been brutal.
It’s not just the physical devastation… it’s the emotional toll that comes with it.
Maybe you’re feeling a mix of exhaustion, frustration and even rage.
Perhaps you’re grappling with the sense that others just don’t get it, that they’re dismissing your experience or comparing it to situations that feel worlds apart from what you’re going through.
I hear you. I see you. And I want you to know — your feelings are valid!!
It’s maddening when people say insensitive things or act like everything’s fine when your world has been turned upside down.
It’s infuriating when the news doesn’t cover what’s happening in your community, making you feel invisible and unimportant.
It’s overwhelming to see the needs around you and feel helpless to address them all.
In times like these, when it feels like the hits just keep coming and no one truly understands, I want to share a powerful tool with you.
It’s called the 25/5/3 tool, and today, we’re focusing on what I call “Step 0”:
I’m here. I care. I’m listening.
This might sound too simple to make a difference, but stick with me!!!
This step is about showing up for yourself when it feels like no one else is.
It’s about validating your own experience when others can’t or won’t.
Here’s how it works:
1. Put your hand over your heart. (Yes, right now!!!)
2. Take three deep breaths.
3. Say to yourself: “I’m here. I care. I’m listening.”
In this moment, you’re creating a space where all your feelings — the frustration, the anger, the grief — are welcome.
You’re acknowledging your experience without judgment.
You’re giving yourself the validation you’ve been craving from others!
This isn’t about forcing positivity or pushing your feelings aside.
It’s about being real with yourself.
It’s about saying, “This is hard, and that’s okay. I’m here for myself, no matter what.”
Try it again. Hand on heart. Deep breaths. “I’m here. I care. I’m listening.”
I challenge you to practice this at least once today. Maybe when you wake up feeling overwhelmed, or when someone says something that makes you want to scream, or when the weight of it all feels too heavy.
Give it a chance to make a difference in your day!
With practice, this simple step can become your anchor when it feels like no one else gets it.
In the coming days, I’ll be sharing more about the 25/5/3 tool and other practices to help you navigate this challenging time. You’re not alone in this. Even when it feels like it.
You’ve got this.
Tara Simkins is a lawyer turned life coach, facilitator and childhood cancer philanthropist. She left a successful twenty-year legal career to pursue a new calling ~ that of teacher, writer, life coach, and co-founder of the pressonfund.org. Find her at tarasimkins.com
