(This is the third of several daily columns to offer encouragement and hope in the aftermath of Hurricane Helene. Author Tara Simkins developed coping strategies during her son’s treatment for leukemia. Brennan was 7 when he was diagnosed in 2009. Columns contain opinion and all opinions expressed in it belong to the author.)
How are you holding up?
I know these days are heavy.
Perhaps you’re feeling overwhelmed and invisible in your struggles. The world keeps turning, but for you, everything has changed.
Or maybe you’re dealing with survivor’s guilt. For you, things are o.k., and you can go about life as normal, but there’s a heaviness you’re carrying with you throughout your day.
No matter where you’re at, what I’m about to share is designed to support you with the daily dose of soul care you need.
In case you missed it: Column One: When no one else understands, start here; Column Two: How to Find Light Even in the Darkest Times.
Today, we’re diving into Step 2 of our 25/5/3 tool. And it might surprise you…
Step 2 is about acknowledging what’s not working.
That’s right. We’re going to look at the hard stuff head-on.
If you read that and you’re thinking, “Tara, I don’t need help focusing on what’s not working. That’s all I can see right now!” I get it. But stick with me…
This step isn’t about dwelling on the negative.
It’s about honoring your struggles.
It’s about giving yourself permission to say, “This is hard. This hurts. This isn’t okay.”
Here’s how it works:
1. Grab your pen and paper (or phone) again.
2. At the top, write “3-5 things that aren’t working in my life right now”.
3. List them out. Be specific. Be honest.
Maybe it’s:
– I’m exhausted from trying to help everyone else
– I feel guilty for being upset when others have it worse
– I’m scared about what the future holds
This might feel uncomfortable.
That’s o.k.
We’re not used to giving space to these thoughts.
But here’s the thing, acknowledging what’s not working doesn’t make it worse. Often, it’s the first step to making it better.
Why? Because when you name your struggles, you start to see them as separate from you.
They’re situations you’re dealing with, not who you are. And that gives you power.
Plus, limiting it to 3-5 things helps you prioritize.
What’s really weighing on you the most? What needs your attention right now?
Your feelings are valid, period. Whether you’ve lost a home, or you’re just feeling overwhelmed by the news, your experience matters. This isn’t about comparing your struggles to others.
So give it a try. Set aside a few minutes today to acknowledge what’s not working.
It might feel heavy at first, but I promise you, there’s a kind of relief in naming these things.
You’re doing hard things, but you’re not alone in this! We’re weathering this storm together, one step at a time.
XOXO, Press on + Shine on!
Tara Simkins is a lawyer turned life coach, facilitator and childhood cancer philanthropist. She left a successful twenty-year legal career to pursue a new calling ~ that of teacher, writer, life coach, and co-founder of the pressonfund.org. Find her at tarasimkins.com
