(This is the second of several daily columns to offer encouragement and hope in the aftermath of Hurricane Helene. Author Tara Simkins developed coping strategies during her son’s treatment for leukemia. Brennan was 7 when he was diagnosed in 2009. Columns contain opinion and all opinions expressed in it belong to the author.)
These past few weeks have been incredibly tough. Some of you have shared heartbreaking stories – losing dear friends, watching homes crumble, feeling the weight of tragedy all around.
It’s a lot to process, and I know there’s a good chance that right now, you’re in full-fledged help mode, running on adrenaline, barely able to catch your breath, let alone sit with your feelings.
My friend, Shell, put it this way…”You can’t almost stop and think too much about it because it keeps you from being able to put a foot in front of the other and keep going.”
I get it. Sometimes, just keeping moving feels like the only option.
But here’s the thing…your soul needs care too, even (especially) in times like these.
That’s why I’m here, sending you these daily doses of soul care. To give you tools and support to tend to your emotional wellbeing, even when the world feels like it’s falling apart.
Let’s dive into Step 1 of that 25/5/3 tool I mentioned yesterday. It might surprise you, but don’t write it off before you read it through.
Read More: Column One: When no one else understands, start here
Step 1 is all about listing 25 things that are working in your life right now.
You might be wondering how to find 25 good things when your world’s been turned upside down. When you’re taking hit after hit.
I’ve been there, and I want to share a story with you.
Years ago, I found myself in one of the darkest periods of my life.
My son Brennan was battling leukemia, and we were living in a hospital room.
For over four years, my husband and I took turns spending nights at the hospital, away from our other children, our home, our normal lives.
One night, as I lay on the uncomfortable hospital couch, listening to the beeping of machines keeping my son alive, I felt completely overwhelmed. That’s when I started this practice- of listing 25 things that are working in my life right now.
I began with the basics:
– I have a roof over my head (even if it’s a hospital roof)
– There’s a couch for me to sleep on
– The nurses brought warm blankets
– Brennan is getting the care he needs
As I continued, I found myself noticing more:
– The kindness of the night nurse
– The fact that someone invented these life-saving machines
– The comfort of hearing Brennan’s steady breathing
Before I knew it, I had listed 25 things.
And while it didn’t change our situation, it changed something in me.
It gave me a moment of peace, a reminder that even in our darkest hours, there are threads of support holding us up!
This practice became my lifeline during those long hospital nights. It didn’t deny the difficulty of our situation, but it helped me find the strength to face each day.
So, here’s how to do it:
1. Grab a pen and paper (or your phone if that’s easier).
2. At the top, write “25 things that are working in my life”.
3. Start listing. And I mean start small. Really small if you need to.
Maybe it’s:
– My heart is beating
– I have air to breathe
– I found a working pen to write this list
– Someone checked in on me today
– I was able to help my neighbor
Don’t worry if it feels hard at first. That’s normal.
Our brains are wired to focus on the negative, especially in times of crisis.
This exercise is about gently redirecting our focus, even for a moment.
If you get stuck, dive deeper into one thing. Like if you wrote “I have food to eat,” maybe break that down:
– Someone grew this food
– Someone transported it
– The grocery store had power to keep it fresh
– I had a way to prepare it
Before you know it, you might find yourself noticing things you’d overlooked. Little moments of kindness, small comforts, tiny victories.
Doing this powerful exercise isn’t about ignoring the hard stuff.
It’s about reminding yourself that you’re supported in ways you might not always see.
It’s about giving your brain a little break from the constant stress, allowing it to reset, even if just for a moment.
Try it. Right now if you can.
If not, set a specific time today to do it.
Maybe before bed, or first thing in the morning.
Give yourself this gift of soul care.
You’re doing incredible things. You’re weathering an impossible storm. But even in the storm, you deserve moments of peace, moments to care for your soul.
Tara Simkins is a lawyer turned life coach, facilitator and childhood cancer philanthropist. She left a successful twenty-year legal career to pursue a new calling ~ that of teacher, writer, life coach, and co-founder of the pressonfund.org. Find her at tarasimkins.com
